~Jordan~
This is the trip through my eyes!
Prior to going to Mafraq Jordan while spending time with God, He made it clear that this journey was just as much for our freedom as a team and individuals as it was for the interceding on behalf of our family in Christ abroad. With that being said please keep track of the footing of the Holy Spirit. For often times he calls up into a much smaller picture of what he is training us up for.
We did not know each other well before we went. In fact, I did not know everyones names and as embarrassing as the sounds it is true. Yet we were all called and in like mindedness. That morning the tangerine sun kissed the night sky and laced the sky with ribbons of turquoise and hews of peach. It was the furthest away from my husband as I had ever been. We boarded our plane in Phoenix and headed out. Full of anticipation for what God was going to do. I do not think one of us did not have expectations. It was the goodness and the holiness of God that exceeded my expectations and blew my mind.
We landed in Jordan and I suddenly felt way over my head. Not that I was not called but, that my life could be snuffed out in just getting to our home base. Where direction of traffic and lanes are merrily just a suggestion and one that is not taken that seriously. My nerves were raw in the hour or so trip to our apartment. I did not sleep well and at 4am the call to prayer woke me up. I took the opportunity to pray. I asked God what he wanted to say to me and this is what he said.
My beloved Glorious. I love you so much. What I have for you is going to change your life and the way you live it. There is no resistance to great. I will heal you. You are to walk on water and we will be filled with Joy. My beloved glorious Im going to use you . Be prepared in your heart because Im going to speak through you.
Lord, I said, how do you want me to prepare my heart?
My beloved, He said, Be with me so that you can hear everything that I will tell you.
Lord I responded, What should I expect from you this week?
My glorious he said, You will not disappoint me, I have been training you for times such as these. Be ready for me to transform you and others through you.
This was the beginning of the first day. We met as a group and prayed for the Lords leading and set aside our expectations. We wanted our team to function out of who we are, so we began to ask God for our identity as individuals. For some of our team member for the first time they were affirmed in who they are. From there we went down stairs and saw Kelly, where her neighbor was visiting. What a beautiful woman. I will call her Abigail! She is the second wife where she is the mother of four beautiful children. She is not a believer but I am confident that God is moving in her broken heart. Us ladies spent the afternoon and evening getting our hair done by Abigail where we were able to bless her. It was in those hours where we were able to love this beautiful family and children. Each of us had things to offer the young children that was unique to our hearts. Susan drew pictures of hope Love and beauty for the young girls and Patty's arms were full of love. My self it was VBS song that came to mind and they loved it. Just before we left I placed a ring on Abigail's finger and let her know that Jesus is in love with her and we blessed the family.
The next day ( Tuesday ) I awoke again to the call to prayer. I felt that to pray during that time to proclaim my allegiance to God was really important. I felt this urgency and warning of battle. We met as a group after breakfast and Kelly came up stairs and had our time with the Lord where we were able as a team to listen on her behalf of who she is and how God sees her. It was beautiful to watch how God began to encourage Kelly with words of affirmation and blessing. After lunch we went as a group to pray for Syria. It was interesting, we were coming into a team that was on the last day of interactive prayer together. There we participated and it pulled at the comfortably of our team, and began to cause us to be extraverted in our pursuit of prayer. We moved into a time of warfare and it was there that God confirmed in through strangers things he was wanting me to pray out loud. I began to take a set in watching how God was moving in and through our team.
From there we went and saw a castle that was build during the crusades. Just the location made me feel as though God was calling me to physically walk in who I am not just a picture or understanding. That we are His children and He is God and so therefore we not address him in brokeness, but in freedom. It was as though my heart was taken to flight.
It was that night that we got the news that two members of the Olive Branch had been admitted into the hospital with extensive injuries. What little we knew we began to pray. Yet I felt that we need to be praying with authority and conviction and that we needed to pray for the fathers. I have never felt this before but I felt the power of the Holy Spirit pumping through my arms and hands as I prayed for the hearts of the fathers to break and turn to you. I saw a picture that confirmed Bill and Jeremy that people needed to lay hands on these men. Matt and his friend went and prayed over them. While our team interceded . We felt that we needed to pray till we were released to go to bed. So Patty George and Susan prayed for the next hour till Matt called and released them to stop.
This was a powerful picture of the positions that God had in mind for us on this trip. Yet I began to notice a spirit of fog and in me impatient spirit. I was to exhausted to go into that night so I decided to address this with the call to prayer the next morning.
Wednesday at the call to prayer. It was there I went before the Lord to hear from Him. The Lord affirmed his great love for me, and I in Him.
Then I said. Lord I want to be right before you in following your holy spirit. and not my own intuition. Lord I asked, am I doing that.
He replied. My beloved, I am satisfied with your offering. I love your heart. Be mindful of motives and keep steadfast in pursuit of my Glory.
Lord I prayed, I stubble in knowing if I speak with pride or am not humble and impatient. Would you search my heart Lord?
My beloved glorious friend I am pleased with you. I know your heart and I made you. Find your confidence in me and be free. Do not worry about perceptions of men, it's my Spirit in you that convicts. You are made in in my image and I God am pleased with you. Put that on like a robe. Bring motives and belief to the team and offer up what you are feeling.
So that morning I went before our fearless leader and told him what I was noticing . I brought up the feeling like there is a spirit of fog and that we needed to make sure that if there was anything that we were having issues with or struggling with it needed to be brought out in the open. And with that I brought up my impatience up and asked for forgiveness. Nothing else was said.
We headed out and went to the Hospital and there we got a tour of the hospital and grounds, school and the new baby wing. There we prayed and our hearts filled with passion. I was not the only was for sure that felt the heart of God for the calling and burden on His heart. My awesome team mate Patty and I found a beautiful place to pray for the Hospital school and staff and needs. There we meant Take You and See Me that fled Yemen where they were serving at the hospital till they were able to return to the ministry that they were in. We were blessed to pray over them and hear their story. It was a beautiful day of prayer and restoring of hope.
That night I went on the roof with Jeremy to hang some of our laundry where we met a couple living next to us in the apartment building. They had just had a baby and we escaping for some peace of mind. There Jeremy and I were able to pray over them and the Lord spoke to us about who they are and how He sees them and a little bit of there marriage design. Neither of one of the couple had ever experienced that before. They asked us before we left to do the same for there children. God used us to bless them.
Thursday: I was up again with the call to pray! That morning with God he spoke to me about not being caught up in pettiness and the oppression of others and take your attention away from me. He said I have designed you to walk on water so do not take your gaze away from me. Continue to be bold and confident and humble. My hand is on you and although you do not see I am using you.
Lord, I said what if I make a mistake?
My beloved who I love I will lead you, I will speak to you, All you need to do is listen, believe, and speak that which I say. I have made you to go in the deep where I have freedom for my beloved.
Tell this to your leader: It us zeal for me that I am seeing, I am calling Him and he hears. Your leader is my champion who I am rejoicing over. See, I am calling and I am coming through controlled, zeal poured out through the sword of truth in love.
I thanked the Lord.
We entered our group time and we felt that it God was wanting us to go through some strongholds and injustices with our dear friend Kelly and half the team was asked to go and intercede while the other half of the team prayed with Kelly. It was there that the crisis of identity with in the team became very apparent. All motives were brought out and God cleaned house. It was a day of confession and forgiveness and although that was done it felt like a battle that waged on in the hearts of the team. We took a few minuets as team and went before the Lord and this is what he said to me. I love you, but the battle belongs to me. Although you do not see instant fruit to those I've called as well, doesn't mean I'm not moving. I have great plans for you. Follow your leader and rejoice that I am with you. With that I returned with peace of heart and set down all that I was holding onto. Those that wanted to lead did, and those that needed to release the outcome did and in the end we were able to with all our humanness to do the very thing God called us to do. To restore hope and identity to the Nutter family. That evening some of us went to a bible study put on by the hospital. What a beautiful picture of community.
Friday: Morning bright and early we went to see The sea of Galilee and the town where Jesus healed the demon possessed man. What a glorious day filled with beauty and the delight of the Lord. My heart was so full in realization no matter how bound by oppression God is big enough and will deliver those that are called. I walked with my dear friend Patty where we looked at the sea of Galilee together. While we were there Patty my dear friend and I got to hear the heart of a Medic who is longing for the desires of his heart. I gave my husbands contact information to him in hopes that through relationship with men at FCOV Jesus can become the desire of his heart.
From there we went shopping in Jerash. Upon walking in I was asked to come and see one shop keepers silver pieces. I let him know that I was looking for manly things. He said I will go find your manly things, and my brother will show you girly things! We began to joke and talk. We walked into his shop and from there he shared with me that he was glad I came because I made his heart happy. He said that he was very sad because he is a human rights activist and feels that there is no hope for the world. I shared Jesus with him and the hope that there is in having a relationship with Jesus! I left the shop and the man was thanking me for a renewed hope. Praise God for holy encounters.
From there we came home. I was in are apartment when I was asked to come and see the neighbor whom I will am calling Abigail. She was there to say goodbye. I had no idea how much of an impact we had made because she was crying that we were leaving. I walked her and her little ones home. While I was there they wanted to know if I had facebook. They asked me to log on so I did. But, when I did it took me to my blog where Abigail's oldest son began to read to his family the stories that I have written about how Jesus loves us. That is what they are reading as a family. I had no idea that God would use that blog to bring glory and plant seeds. Then we were looking at some pictures on my facebook and they notices that I did not have any of my family members. Abigail asked me why. I told her that they were mad at me, she asked why so as simply as I could tell her. I told her the truth. I had to choose between them and Jesus. I chose Jesus and now they are angry. She began to feel bad, then I said no not to. I told her how Jesus gave me a new family, a better family, how Jesus has healed my broken heart and how he is given me hope, more love and freedom that I never had with those that were my blood. There with tears falling down her face God touched her heart. We said our goodbyes and her son walked me home.
Saturday: We went to the hospital to pray with the staff and others who God has put it on there hearts. Together we were able to serve those that have been pouring out! This was a blessing. It was powerful when we all began to pray each in their own language. There were at least six different dialects in that room praise God for his love and faithfulness. I could feel the Holy Spirit moving. From there we went and prayer walked around in groups. During this time God gave me a picture of a battle going on and saints bringing the wounded from the battle field to the hospital. While on the battle field a host of Angles stood in a unbreakable line against the enemy and his dominion. The God gave me scripture to go along with it. When we got back into the home where we were all praying we shared that with the group. At first I thought that God had given me this picture so that they would have hope. Little did I know that in that group of people was a man name Nathan from Egypt who is known amongst them as a profit. Then Matt shared with all the people about the Olive Branch. Where he shared in detail what had happened. During that time he mentioned that one of the fathers heart seems to have softened to the idea of Jesus. Praising God for it all.
From there Nathan began to share a vision he had. I was floored. God had given this man the start and end of the picture he had given me. We laid hands on the staff and prayed for the power of the holy spirit over them and the Olive Branch and we prayed as God led. It was incredible. After we were finished. I went to speak with Nathan and his wife. I wanted to know more about him and share with him that I had visions (Pictures ) too.
Nathan does not speak english so his wife translated. A couple of minuets in to our conversation, Nathan tells me that God wants to talk to me through him and asked if that was alright. I never turn down God time, so he began to talk to me as if he was God and his wife began to translate. Nathan said God wants me to let you know just how important you are to the kingdom. He said that you stand before God in the throne room on behalf of others. You are a profits intercessor where you pray with your eyes open on God and that you see the thoughts of God. Then he said that God understand the grief in my heart through the life that I have lived and because I have loved him he is pouring out his love on me. Then he said things in your life have changed you are interring a new season. A season of where God is pouring out his promises of love on you. Where once things remained closed that you have wanted so long are suddenly opening up for you. This is just the start of God pouring out his love on you. Then he said the times of when you feel like everything is falling apart and you cannot see what is happening and you feel alone. He said, You are a bowl before God and he fills you up with his love and when you fill up he causes you to spill out on the world. But, the love he has for you is to big for you to contain he must make your bowl bigger. So times that try your heart is God making your bowl bigger. That it is nothing that you are doing. Then when you have room to be filled to overflow again God will pour out on you again and it will be this was as long as you live. Then he continued. This book of love that you are writing is the first pouring out God has in store for you. I was floored because I had told him nothing about myself. Then Nathan said to me. God knows that your family weighs on your heart. Do not dismay God will bring them to you and you will be like a queen to them. They will look to you as how to walk with God. The tears came. The promise of restoration from God, filled me to overflowing. Nathan then said. That he could see God with me and Nathan was crying saying I have never seen such love in all my life. Our God is in love with you. Nathan and his wife with eyes full of tears embraced me and said it is truly our honor to meet the one who goes before God and hears. And we said goodbye.
We returned to have our team debrief before our time ended and there we as a team blessed each other broke bread and gave thanks to God. During the time of blessing God allowed me a chance to see what he was doing in the hearts of those with in our team. I again was filled with blessing an honor. A little while later I got have a beautiful conversation with one of the Nutters daughters. During that time God used her to comfort part of my broken heart with in regards to letting my daughter go.
Right after we were finished Jeremy and I went to pray over the family from earlier in the week and listen about who there children are and there original design! We prayed and blessed them. It was beautiful and a time of thanking and honoring God for his hope and rich love.
Then we went right down stairs and Bill and Jeremy and I were blessed along with Matt and Kelly to listen to the heart of who we are calling "our David" There we listened to the heart of a man who has fallen in love with Jesus but cannot talk about it freely. We prayed over him blessed him and asked God to speak to us on his behalf. The God revealed his heart for him as well along with who he is.
The driver who was to take Jeremy and I to the airport came in and Jeremy and I rushed to pack and we stared our journey home.
These are the high lights. I am not sure how to put into words just how magnificent God is and how he is fierce for our hearts, and how much he is in love with us all. We are the beloved of Christ and he is wanting us to love with out end.
A blessed daughter of the Lord of lords The King of kings and my holy deliverer, and the knight of my heart.
Prior to going to Mafraq Jordan while spending time with God, He made it clear that this journey was just as much for our freedom as a team and individuals as it was for the interceding on behalf of our family in Christ abroad. With that being said please keep track of the footing of the Holy Spirit. For often times he calls up into a much smaller picture of what he is training us up for.
We did not know each other well before we went. In fact, I did not know everyones names and as embarrassing as the sounds it is true. Yet we were all called and in like mindedness. That morning the tangerine sun kissed the night sky and laced the sky with ribbons of turquoise and hews of peach. It was the furthest away from my husband as I had ever been. We boarded our plane in Phoenix and headed out. Full of anticipation for what God was going to do. I do not think one of us did not have expectations. It was the goodness and the holiness of God that exceeded my expectations and blew my mind.
We landed in Jordan and I suddenly felt way over my head. Not that I was not called but, that my life could be snuffed out in just getting to our home base. Where direction of traffic and lanes are merrily just a suggestion and one that is not taken that seriously. My nerves were raw in the hour or so trip to our apartment. I did not sleep well and at 4am the call to prayer woke me up. I took the opportunity to pray. I asked God what he wanted to say to me and this is what he said.
My beloved Glorious. I love you so much. What I have for you is going to change your life and the way you live it. There is no resistance to great. I will heal you. You are to walk on water and we will be filled with Joy. My beloved glorious Im going to use you . Be prepared in your heart because Im going to speak through you.
Lord, I said, how do you want me to prepare my heart?
My beloved, He said, Be with me so that you can hear everything that I will tell you.
Lord I responded, What should I expect from you this week?
My glorious he said, You will not disappoint me, I have been training you for times such as these. Be ready for me to transform you and others through you.
This was the beginning of the first day. We met as a group and prayed for the Lords leading and set aside our expectations. We wanted our team to function out of who we are, so we began to ask God for our identity as individuals. For some of our team member for the first time they were affirmed in who they are. From there we went down stairs and saw Kelly, where her neighbor was visiting. What a beautiful woman. I will call her Abigail! She is the second wife where she is the mother of four beautiful children. She is not a believer but I am confident that God is moving in her broken heart. Us ladies spent the afternoon and evening getting our hair done by Abigail where we were able to bless her. It was in those hours where we were able to love this beautiful family and children. Each of us had things to offer the young children that was unique to our hearts. Susan drew pictures of hope Love and beauty for the young girls and Patty's arms were full of love. My self it was VBS song that came to mind and they loved it. Just before we left I placed a ring on Abigail's finger and let her know that Jesus is in love with her and we blessed the family.
The next day ( Tuesday ) I awoke again to the call to prayer. I felt that to pray during that time to proclaim my allegiance to God was really important. I felt this urgency and warning of battle. We met as a group after breakfast and Kelly came up stairs and had our time with the Lord where we were able as a team to listen on her behalf of who she is and how God sees her. It was beautiful to watch how God began to encourage Kelly with words of affirmation and blessing. After lunch we went as a group to pray for Syria. It was interesting, we were coming into a team that was on the last day of interactive prayer together. There we participated and it pulled at the comfortably of our team, and began to cause us to be extraverted in our pursuit of prayer. We moved into a time of warfare and it was there that God confirmed in through strangers things he was wanting me to pray out loud. I began to take a set in watching how God was moving in and through our team.
From there we went and saw a castle that was build during the crusades. Just the location made me feel as though God was calling me to physically walk in who I am not just a picture or understanding. That we are His children and He is God and so therefore we not address him in brokeness, but in freedom. It was as though my heart was taken to flight.
It was that night that we got the news that two members of the Olive Branch had been admitted into the hospital with extensive injuries. What little we knew we began to pray. Yet I felt that we need to be praying with authority and conviction and that we needed to pray for the fathers. I have never felt this before but I felt the power of the Holy Spirit pumping through my arms and hands as I prayed for the hearts of the fathers to break and turn to you. I saw a picture that confirmed Bill and Jeremy that people needed to lay hands on these men. Matt and his friend went and prayed over them. While our team interceded . We felt that we needed to pray till we were released to go to bed. So Patty George and Susan prayed for the next hour till Matt called and released them to stop.
This was a powerful picture of the positions that God had in mind for us on this trip. Yet I began to notice a spirit of fog and in me impatient spirit. I was to exhausted to go into that night so I decided to address this with the call to prayer the next morning.
Wednesday at the call to prayer. It was there I went before the Lord to hear from Him. The Lord affirmed his great love for me, and I in Him.
Then I said. Lord I want to be right before you in following your holy spirit. and not my own intuition. Lord I asked, am I doing that.
He replied. My beloved, I am satisfied with your offering. I love your heart. Be mindful of motives and keep steadfast in pursuit of my Glory.
Lord I prayed, I stubble in knowing if I speak with pride or am not humble and impatient. Would you search my heart Lord?
My beloved glorious friend I am pleased with you. I know your heart and I made you. Find your confidence in me and be free. Do not worry about perceptions of men, it's my Spirit in you that convicts. You are made in in my image and I God am pleased with you. Put that on like a robe. Bring motives and belief to the team and offer up what you are feeling.
So that morning I went before our fearless leader and told him what I was noticing . I brought up the feeling like there is a spirit of fog and that we needed to make sure that if there was anything that we were having issues with or struggling with it needed to be brought out in the open. And with that I brought up my impatience up and asked for forgiveness. Nothing else was said.
We headed out and went to the Hospital and there we got a tour of the hospital and grounds, school and the new baby wing. There we prayed and our hearts filled with passion. I was not the only was for sure that felt the heart of God for the calling and burden on His heart. My awesome team mate Patty and I found a beautiful place to pray for the Hospital school and staff and needs. There we meant Take You and See Me that fled Yemen where they were serving at the hospital till they were able to return to the ministry that they were in. We were blessed to pray over them and hear their story. It was a beautiful day of prayer and restoring of hope.
That night I went on the roof with Jeremy to hang some of our laundry where we met a couple living next to us in the apartment building. They had just had a baby and we escaping for some peace of mind. There Jeremy and I were able to pray over them and the Lord spoke to us about who they are and how He sees them and a little bit of there marriage design. Neither of one of the couple had ever experienced that before. They asked us before we left to do the same for there children. God used us to bless them.
Thursday: I was up again with the call to pray! That morning with God he spoke to me about not being caught up in pettiness and the oppression of others and take your attention away from me. He said I have designed you to walk on water so do not take your gaze away from me. Continue to be bold and confident and humble. My hand is on you and although you do not see I am using you.
Lord, I said what if I make a mistake?
My beloved who I love I will lead you, I will speak to you, All you need to do is listen, believe, and speak that which I say. I have made you to go in the deep where I have freedom for my beloved.
Tell this to your leader: It us zeal for me that I am seeing, I am calling Him and he hears. Your leader is my champion who I am rejoicing over. See, I am calling and I am coming through controlled, zeal poured out through the sword of truth in love.
I thanked the Lord.
We entered our group time and we felt that it God was wanting us to go through some strongholds and injustices with our dear friend Kelly and half the team was asked to go and intercede while the other half of the team prayed with Kelly. It was there that the crisis of identity with in the team became very apparent. All motives were brought out and God cleaned house. It was a day of confession and forgiveness and although that was done it felt like a battle that waged on in the hearts of the team. We took a few minuets as team and went before the Lord and this is what he said to me. I love you, but the battle belongs to me. Although you do not see instant fruit to those I've called as well, doesn't mean I'm not moving. I have great plans for you. Follow your leader and rejoice that I am with you. With that I returned with peace of heart and set down all that I was holding onto. Those that wanted to lead did, and those that needed to release the outcome did and in the end we were able to with all our humanness to do the very thing God called us to do. To restore hope and identity to the Nutter family. That evening some of us went to a bible study put on by the hospital. What a beautiful picture of community.
Friday: Morning bright and early we went to see The sea of Galilee and the town where Jesus healed the demon possessed man. What a glorious day filled with beauty and the delight of the Lord. My heart was so full in realization no matter how bound by oppression God is big enough and will deliver those that are called. I walked with my dear friend Patty where we looked at the sea of Galilee together. While we were there Patty my dear friend and I got to hear the heart of a Medic who is longing for the desires of his heart. I gave my husbands contact information to him in hopes that through relationship with men at FCOV Jesus can become the desire of his heart.
From there we went shopping in Jerash. Upon walking in I was asked to come and see one shop keepers silver pieces. I let him know that I was looking for manly things. He said I will go find your manly things, and my brother will show you girly things! We began to joke and talk. We walked into his shop and from there he shared with me that he was glad I came because I made his heart happy. He said that he was very sad because he is a human rights activist and feels that there is no hope for the world. I shared Jesus with him and the hope that there is in having a relationship with Jesus! I left the shop and the man was thanking me for a renewed hope. Praise God for holy encounters.
From there we came home. I was in are apartment when I was asked to come and see the neighbor whom I will am calling Abigail. She was there to say goodbye. I had no idea how much of an impact we had made because she was crying that we were leaving. I walked her and her little ones home. While I was there they wanted to know if I had facebook. They asked me to log on so I did. But, when I did it took me to my blog where Abigail's oldest son began to read to his family the stories that I have written about how Jesus loves us. That is what they are reading as a family. I had no idea that God would use that blog to bring glory and plant seeds. Then we were looking at some pictures on my facebook and they notices that I did not have any of my family members. Abigail asked me why. I told her that they were mad at me, she asked why so as simply as I could tell her. I told her the truth. I had to choose between them and Jesus. I chose Jesus and now they are angry. She began to feel bad, then I said no not to. I told her how Jesus gave me a new family, a better family, how Jesus has healed my broken heart and how he is given me hope, more love and freedom that I never had with those that were my blood. There with tears falling down her face God touched her heart. We said our goodbyes and her son walked me home.
Saturday: We went to the hospital to pray with the staff and others who God has put it on there hearts. Together we were able to serve those that have been pouring out! This was a blessing. It was powerful when we all began to pray each in their own language. There were at least six different dialects in that room praise God for his love and faithfulness. I could feel the Holy Spirit moving. From there we went and prayer walked around in groups. During this time God gave me a picture of a battle going on and saints bringing the wounded from the battle field to the hospital. While on the battle field a host of Angles stood in a unbreakable line against the enemy and his dominion. The God gave me scripture to go along with it. When we got back into the home where we were all praying we shared that with the group. At first I thought that God had given me this picture so that they would have hope. Little did I know that in that group of people was a man name Nathan from Egypt who is known amongst them as a profit. Then Matt shared with all the people about the Olive Branch. Where he shared in detail what had happened. During that time he mentioned that one of the fathers heart seems to have softened to the idea of Jesus. Praising God for it all.
From there Nathan began to share a vision he had. I was floored. God had given this man the start and end of the picture he had given me. We laid hands on the staff and prayed for the power of the holy spirit over them and the Olive Branch and we prayed as God led. It was incredible. After we were finished. I went to speak with Nathan and his wife. I wanted to know more about him and share with him that I had visions (Pictures ) too.
Nathan does not speak english so his wife translated. A couple of minuets in to our conversation, Nathan tells me that God wants to talk to me through him and asked if that was alright. I never turn down God time, so he began to talk to me as if he was God and his wife began to translate. Nathan said God wants me to let you know just how important you are to the kingdom. He said that you stand before God in the throne room on behalf of others. You are a profits intercessor where you pray with your eyes open on God and that you see the thoughts of God. Then he said that God understand the grief in my heart through the life that I have lived and because I have loved him he is pouring out his love on me. Then he said things in your life have changed you are interring a new season. A season of where God is pouring out his promises of love on you. Where once things remained closed that you have wanted so long are suddenly opening up for you. This is just the start of God pouring out his love on you. Then he said the times of when you feel like everything is falling apart and you cannot see what is happening and you feel alone. He said, You are a bowl before God and he fills you up with his love and when you fill up he causes you to spill out on the world. But, the love he has for you is to big for you to contain he must make your bowl bigger. So times that try your heart is God making your bowl bigger. That it is nothing that you are doing. Then when you have room to be filled to overflow again God will pour out on you again and it will be this was as long as you live. Then he continued. This book of love that you are writing is the first pouring out God has in store for you. I was floored because I had told him nothing about myself. Then Nathan said to me. God knows that your family weighs on your heart. Do not dismay God will bring them to you and you will be like a queen to them. They will look to you as how to walk with God. The tears came. The promise of restoration from God, filled me to overflowing. Nathan then said. That he could see God with me and Nathan was crying saying I have never seen such love in all my life. Our God is in love with you. Nathan and his wife with eyes full of tears embraced me and said it is truly our honor to meet the one who goes before God and hears. And we said goodbye.
We returned to have our team debrief before our time ended and there we as a team blessed each other broke bread and gave thanks to God. During the time of blessing God allowed me a chance to see what he was doing in the hearts of those with in our team. I again was filled with blessing an honor. A little while later I got have a beautiful conversation with one of the Nutters daughters. During that time God used her to comfort part of my broken heart with in regards to letting my daughter go.
Right after we were finished Jeremy and I went to pray over the family from earlier in the week and listen about who there children are and there original design! We prayed and blessed them. It was beautiful and a time of thanking and honoring God for his hope and rich love.
Then we went right down stairs and Bill and Jeremy and I were blessed along with Matt and Kelly to listen to the heart of who we are calling "our David" There we listened to the heart of a man who has fallen in love with Jesus but cannot talk about it freely. We prayed over him blessed him and asked God to speak to us on his behalf. The God revealed his heart for him as well along with who he is.
The driver who was to take Jeremy and I to the airport came in and Jeremy and I rushed to pack and we stared our journey home.
These are the high lights. I am not sure how to put into words just how magnificent God is and how he is fierce for our hearts, and how much he is in love with us all. We are the beloved of Christ and he is wanting us to love with out end.
A blessed daughter of the Lord of lords The King of kings and my holy deliverer, and the knight of my heart.
